Hentai on Blu-ray

What’s up, my well-read ballers? It’s time to go over the Uber highlights of the past two weeks so let’s begin. Last Friday, McDonald’s gave me the wrong delivery order so that sucked. I lucked out the next day when I was looking to get to Uptown from Monroe and grabbed two guys who were looking to do the very same thing. Tuesday was pretty slow in the first half of the afternoon with most of my trips being food deliveries. Thursday evening, I managed to eavesdrop on the prelude to a serious butt-whopping when it was discovered my rider’s children order something on pay-per-view while at a hotel. I was in uncharted territory for me Friday night when I drove a guy from Lake Wylie up into Belmont on secondary routes I would otherwise never be. Finally, last night I made real human connections with the employees at two different restaurants when picking up deliveries. At the first, the person who ordered was named Penelope (name changed) but in a very unusual way. So when I came to the pick-up counter, I told them I was getting the order for “Penelope but with really pretentious parents.” The worker said they knew exactly who I meant and said they had the same reaction. At the second restaurant, I was the only person there besides the employees so we got a rapport going while they bagged the order. When I go to deliver it, it turns out the recipient is 500 feet away. Thus, I didn’t even get back in my car and just walked it over. Upon returning, I took the time to poke my head back in and tell the employees what had happened so we could share in the gag. Truly, this gig makes for some very unique experiences.

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That’s a clean burning Hell, I tell you what

So like I said, the regular job had me running ragged last week and it didn’t lighten up much this week either. I still managed to put in some time on the road though. People who work in cigar shops carry it with them and I can verify this fact because I transported two different guys on two different nights from the same shop and I could smell it from the backseat. They weren’t short trips either, 20 minutes apiece. Last Saturday, I ended up in Mt. Pleasant even though I shouldn’t have because the rider put in the pick-up and destination locations backwards. Sunday night ended up being one of my strangest nights on record. My first rider was a gentleman who answered to Napoleon and did not appear to speak English. When I arrived for the second pick-up, I was greeted by two police cars. It seems a woman had called me to pick up her and her fiance who had passed out at the bar. In the time it took me to get there, the bar staff had called the police to manage him and he appeared to be vaguely belligerent when I arrived. I ended up waiting about 5 minutes before just the woman got in the car to go home, knowingly without her house key. The next 10 minutes was spent playing emotional sounding board as she explained how this was a common pattern for her guy, but she loves him regardless, etc. It was just one of those rides that this blog is meant for. I had easily one of the shortest food deliveries possible on Wednesday wherein I brought food from a McD’s to one of the stores in the same plaza as the restaurant. On Thursday evening, after dropping off a food delivery, I was talked into doing an off-the-books ride for $10 to take two folks to the Panthers game. Finally, last night, my highlight/lowlight was cancelling on a group of women who would rather wait in the tangled mess that is College St. in front of the Epicenter rather than walk around the corner where I was and traffic wasn’t. Some people are too far up their own ass to see what’s good for them.