Don’t threaten me with a good time

These past couple of weeks have been kind of a blur for me. I can’t say it was especially eventful. Last Thursday, I picked up a guy whose mind was completely blown that he had just witnessed me dropping off someone in his neighborhood immediately before picking him up. Last night I jammed out with a young woman to Smells Like Teen Spirit. Beyond that and my realization that The Arrogant Worms aren’t as funny and clever as I remember, there really isn’t much else to talk about. Sorry folks, the curtain falls on this entry earlier than usual this time.

A brawl is surely brewing

The amount of hours at my regular job is progressively destroying my mind. Luckily, I have Uber to decompress. Last Monday, I picked up a mother from what appear to be a Salvation Army women’s shelter and brought her to her new place of residence so that was different. Friday evening, I was called on to retrieve a guy’s driver’s license for him which I acquired by walking into his open garage, entering his unlocked BMW, and then delivered by handing it to the doorman for the private club that he was in. I guess to his credit he did live on the edge of oblivion away from other people in the Mt. Holly area. My final ride for that night was my new crown champion for the drunkest human being I have ever met. For starters, the bar called me to pick him up on their behalf. He proved to be barely coherent and stumbling for the entirety of the trip. The cherry on top was  when I dropped him off and he stubbornly tried to get into the wrong door of his row of townhouses and I had to step in and guide him towards his door before the police were called in. This past Monday, I picked up a gentleman from a chiropractic clinic and based on how gingerly he was moving it was clear why.  On Wednesday night, I had two different people who ordered food not answer their phones or doors forcing me to leave their meals on their doorsteps. I nearly destroyed my undercarriage driving on a road that was half a step above a hiking trail to get to a house on the Catawba River. Most of my earning that day came from two trips, one from the airport to Mooresville and the other back again. People have been cool for the most part and my rating has been improving so let’s keep that trend going.

I’ll haiku it with you

My apologies for the fake-out, folks. Turns out I can’t read my own work schedule so the bi-weekly schedule remains. Last week on Tuesday I had a man who was an avid Trump supporter spend the whole trip divulging his political thoughts and theories for the whole 45-minute trip, with me only contributing when he asked for my opinion, shake my hand in a friendly manner when he exited, then report me for making him feel uncomfortable by arguing with him. In no uncertain terms, that guy can go fuck himself. On Thursday, I took a trip from the airport to Mooresville and then the reverse of that an hour later. Four of my six trips on Friday night were all to Moochie’s on Idlewild. Twice this week, I coordinated with riders to return lost items so that was a fun adventure in itself. On Thursday, while waiting for a rider to finish in a convenience store, I watched one of the employees come out to dump the trash and I swear he looked like he could be Quentin Tarantino’s stunt double. On the subject of danger and stunts, later on I saw a car flipped over on 74 not 5 minutes after I had been that way. A man in Easton, PA punched in the wrong address and tagged me which led to an interesting conversation and cancellation. I picked up one of my Moochie riders from the previous week last night so we got to do a bit of cheeky catching up, That’s all for this week. Stay gold.