Popity Ping

Hello and welcome to an abridged version of Uber King of the Queen City. Due to a combination of procrastination, mechanical errors, bureaucratic delays, and sharing a household with people who don’t know what to do with the mail when it comes in, I was not able to renew my registration until the 26th and did not have it in hand until this past Thursday. Thus, since Uber does not let me drive with them with an expired registration and I’m still waiting for approval, I have not driven since last Friday night. It’s worth mentioning I did earn $1 this week from a tip from a past trip so this week was not a 100% bust. The first week still came with a story or two as well. My last and longest trip on Monday night had me on a wild goose chase through Monroe trying to find a bar open after 12 on a Monday. On Friday, I had two occasions where I picked up two delivery orders at the same time which is especially remarkable since it seldom happens at all, much less twice in the same night. A rider from Gastonia told me one of the best bar stories I may have heard in my entire life. Her father’s Army unit was stationed in Germany during Vietnam and while he had a day off, he met a nice girl at the beach who was buried up to her neck in the sand. They hit it off and they agreed to meet later in the week so he could take her out. He shows up at the door to her parent’s door where her father greets him with open arms. Then her mother brings her down in a bucket. Record scratch-the girl has no legs. But her father decides this doesn’t change the good rapport they had and he takes her out anyway. As he starts driving her, she suggests she knows a place where they can go park. She directs him to a park where there is a tree with a nail in it for him to hang a bucket on that puts her at eye level for him to make out with her. They proceed to do exactly that for a while before calling it a night and bringing her home. When he gets back to her house, her father remarks,”Wow, you must really like her. Most guys just leave her on the nail.” I pray to God I don’t learn this was borrowed from some book or movie because everything about it from the pacing to its ending is exactly what I would want in a story. I think my delay in sending a photo of my new registration may have raised some flags at Uber HQ so tune in next time to see if they still let me drive and until then, stay gold.

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